April 2008

How I Became a Quaker

         Picture this- 38 Quaker women of varying ages and theological beliefs together in a Great Hall overlooking the Columbia Gorge for four days. It was an experience that is now seared deep into my heart along with the memories of the women I shared it with.  The journey to get there was a little longer. 

         I first heard about the conference a year and a half ago when I attended "Seminar by the Sea" at Twin Rocks Camp on Quaker Holiness.  I remember that weekend well because it was the weekend when I finally made the choice to join the Quakers.  I had studied Quaker history over many terms at seminary and while working on a History of Spirituality project on Quaker spirituality, I realized the Quaker's core beliefs matched the beliefs I had already come to on my own through my own theological wrestling.  I remember sitting in the dining room at Twin Rocks surrounded by Quakers, I was only one of two at that conference who was not a Quaker, and for the first time in my adult life, I felt like I fit spiritually with those who surrounded me.  We had great conversations and they answered all my questions and told me stories of the local Quaker world including this amazing conference where women from all areas of Quakerdom got together to talk about their theological beliefs.   They told me they were sure I would be accepted if I applied when they held it again in 2008.  At the time, though I was drooling all over the idea of a conference like that, it was late October in 2006 and 2008 seemed a long ways away.  But despite that, I felt so at home and comfortable amongst them, I felt like I belonged.  You know what it feels like when you finally find the piece to the puzzle you needed to bring the picture into focus?  That's what it felt like to me.  I went home and told the pastor of the foursquare church I was attending at the time that I was leaving to join the Quakers.  We wished each other well and the next week I started attending a Quaker church I had previously visited in a nearby town.  I had often visited another Quaker church in Portland as well that I still love but it was too far of a drive.  When I told my friend this who led the Seminar by the Sea conference, she said, "Finally!"  She told me she had seen it coming for a long time and knew it was only a matter of time before I made that important decision to join with the Quakers. 

    I attended that Quaker church for about three and a half months and even in that short of time, relationships were formed, and I enjoyed the drive through the country to get there.  However, by this point in my spiritual life, I was tired of praise music and sermons I analyzed instead of listened to.  I started bringing my journal along to keep myself from wriggling through the service like a four year old. Finally, I took a retreat to the beach one Sunday afternoon in late February of 2007 and sitting on a driftwood log, asked God in utter frustration what I was supposed to do.  I didn't like going to church no matter the denomination, I was exhausted and I didn't know what to do.  As a recent seminary graduate, I was supposed to like, and even lead, church. His response was simple and profound. "Take a break.  Just don't go. We will talk about it again at a later point."  So extremely relieved and feeling I had just been set free, I stopped going.  I still attended temple every so often as being a Jew is also very important to me and I learned things the Christian church long ago left behind.  On Sundays, I was free to sleep in and take hikes with my friends Julie and Sean exploring the great outdoors and my gift for photography.  It was a fantastic spring and summer. 

   Then in early July, God popped his head into my church life again in a way I couldn't ignore or have ever predicted.  You can find this story alluded to in the August 2007 newsletter.  Through three people I greatly respect and trust, I was told about a woman I had never heard of before within the span of five weeks.  None of them knew anyone else had mentioned her to me but they all told me the same thing, I should find and talk to this person named Peggy Parsons.  By the third time, I got the message and looked up on the internet this Quaker church she had started, Freedom Friends Church. I was not inclined to go to a service but they had a whole page on their website about art and poetry that intrigued me.  I imagined a nice church with a woman pastor, also nice and polite.  I called the phone number and left a message something like this, "Hi, I'm calling for Peggy Parsons.  You don't know me and I don't know you but I am supposed to talk to you."  She never called me back.  Not an encouraging sign but I liked the website and was interested in at least anonymously checking it out.  The next weekend Julie and I were going to go camping with friends so I couldn't visit then.  The camping trip was canceled.  I then stayed out really late that Saturday night and I was tired.  My Sunday morning was now free but I wanted to sleep in.  So I bargained.  I told God I would go visit this church if he woke me up in time to get ready and go as I refused to set my alarm.  Shortly after 9 am I came to consciousness wide awake.  Service was at 10:30.  He is nothing if not persistent.

    Following the directions which were actually quite good, I parked in the lot and walked to the door thinking to sneak in and sit in the back.  Remember, I didn't like church, I didn't want to tell anyone I'd left that weird message, and I preferred to observe and find out who this person was from a distant pew. The size of the parking lot should have been my first clue.  At the open door stood a woman, I now realize she must have me seen me coming for she reached out her hand and introduced herself as Peggy Parsons and I replied my name was Sarah and she exclaimed, "You're the one who left the message!"  Blushing I'm sure, I replied I was and she welcomed me to the church.  I took a seat in an octagon shaped room and was very surprised to find out I liked the service.  Peggy led the singing and a woman named Alivia led the time of open thanksgiving and prayer, they said it was usually the other way around.  After that was open worship where you sit and listen to God and if he gives you something to share with the larger group, you say it.  I'd experienced a little of this before but not for that long.  There was no prepared sermon.  God spoke directly.

    The people were another story in themselves.  When I told my roommate about the service later, I told her they were like the group of people I imagine Jesus had around him. It wasn't like other places I'd been. Everybody was a little different and not the norm.  Peggy was nothing like the nice, polite pastor I had expected and the congregation wasn't the dressed up middle class folk I had grown up with.  They were different and different appealed to me.  it was also very small, fifteen to twenty people on a Sunday.  You can know everybody there and I really liked that. 

    After the service, Peggy asked me to sign the guestbook and also asked if I would like to go out for coffee later that week to talk.  I said I would and we had a good conversation, those three women who referred me to her were right.  The next weekend I was visiting my grandparents in Washington but the Sunday after that, I went back to visit Freedom Friends.  Peggy later told me when she first saw me she wondered what I was doing there, I looked normal, but then she got to know me and she changed her mind.  Showing up to the first coffee time with a star of David around my neck was her first clue.   

   I have now been attending Freedom Friends Church for eight months, I joined as a member in February, nearly a year to the day since that day at the beach.  If you were to tell me at this time last year that in a year's time I would be involved in a church and a member of that church, I would have laughed and thought you were nuts!  But God knew exactly what he was doing.  We fit together well and I love being a part of our community.  I feel like a young tree planted where there is plenty of room to grow and plenty of water to drink.  I can breathe and stretch out my roots.  Even better, it is a church that encourages people to not feel they have to come every Sunday.  For me, that translates into a lot of hiking trips this summer with Julie and Sean again!  They are some of the best times...

   In addition to joining the church, I was also taken into Multwood, a group of Quaker women leaders who years before had founded the very theological conference I had heard about that weekend at Twin Rocks in 2006. I sent in my registration, wrote the required paper, and packed my bags.  Jaye, a fellow Friend, and I drove up together to Menucha in the Columbia Gorge where the conference was to be held.  When we arrived, we walked into a large hall, a huge room lined with a balcony on all sides and a gabled roof, what used to be a famous Oregonian's mansion.  It was a beautiful setting.  We got our nametags and packets at the welcome table and unloaded our things.  The next four days were filled with workshops, (I chose Meditative Collage, Digital Photography 101, and the Feminine Divine), plenary discussions where we all met together, and home groups.  My favorite part was getting to know the other women I shared the time with.  Though our beliefs and ways of worship differ more than you could ever believe, bonds were formed and we came together in friendship, using our differences as gifts so we could grow and know ourselves better. 

   Sitting around the table at meal times, I looked at the women around me and remembered the last time I had done such a thing, a year and a half before at Twin Rocks.  Once again, the same feeling washed over me.  I belonged with these women, they belonged with me, this is where I fit. This is where I am meant to be.  It is so comforting to know I am exactly where I belong.  I am a Quaker and now I know even better what that means.  What I will discover within Quakerism is the story still being told.

Photographs

Here are some of the photos taken at the conference.

The women of Freedom Friends

News

I have been selected to be a part of the international editorial board for the

Quaker Youth Book Project.  At the end of April I will be flying to North Carolina to meet

the other members and to start our work.  You can find out more information at the Quakers United in Publishing website.