August 2006

A Grin that Met in the Back

My friends did not believe me when I told them I had a grin that met in the back.  However, while watching me race through their fields on the back of one of their horses in Southern Oregon, they soon changed their minds.  Wishing for a camera to capture this most unusual phenomenon, they laughed at how big my smile could be.  There is just something about being on a horse going at a full out sprint that I love!  I think it is the sense of freedom I love, and the fresh air of the countryside whipping through my hair.  It gives me such an overflowing joy, the grin naturally bubbles up.

            Since I have come back from there though, I still feel like I am on the back of that horse in many ways, racing through the fields of life.  One would think summer break would be relaxing, but for me, it is a time to get all the things done that normally fall to the side.  There are just so many things to do, both for work and fun, that I often do not stop just to enjoy the view. I don’t take the time to lie down beside that horse, watch the sunset, and chew the hay.  I have an inner drive to be “productive” and it bugs me when I am not.   This will come as an utter shock to my family, but even reading is often bypassed for other things.  I instead want to complete all of these projects and to be able to enjoy their being done.

            However, in my drive to finish and accomplish, I have neglected the most vital person to my being, the God I love.  We have become like a married couple who work alongside each other every day but no longer sit down for deep conversations.  Last year I could sense Him beside me, carrying me when I could not walk, singing to me when I was asleep.  It was a time I would not trade for anything.  But this year I can walk on my own, though I still need him, now more than ever.  I need to hear His voice, I need to feel His hand when I reach out to take it, and I need to hear His answers to my questions, or His own questions back to me.  I need that dialogue between us and I have become grumpy without it.  Not a pretty picture.

            So after talking about it with someone earlier this week, I have a made an effort to spend more time with Him.  I’ve gone back to read what He says in the Bible, and then last night, on the way home from the airport to drop a friend off, I had a whole hour to spend with Him.  There weren’t any fantastic revelations, or amazing visions, it was just an intimate time of conversation, dreaming, and companionship.  When I think of times like that, I sense a warm  fire within me that never dies, a life flowing on eternal shores. 

Times with God don’t have to be miraculous, they can take place amidst the most ordinary of days such as while you’re doing dishes, running errands, busy at work, or even while you are riding a horse.  Ask Him your questions, tell Him what you think, what you want, what you notice and observe.  He’ll listen!  Then He will ask you questions of His own and tell you what He thinks, wants, notices and observes.  He really does!  He will bring things to your mind you never thought of before and teach you things you never thought you’d learn.  These are the precious times and the times that will nourish and balance you as you do all those other things you think you need to do.            

              In our lives, we do go through seasons, and some of them are busier than others.  But no matter the season, no matter what else is going on in our lives, we need to remember, God is our sustainer, out life force.  Time spent with Him will help us in everything else that needs to be done.  In church last Sunday, God gave me a picture of this.  He showed me a picture of me on that horse racing through the fields, but this time, He was behind me in the saddle with His arms around me grasping the reigns.  He didn’t mind I was working hard on getting things done, but He wanted to be with me in it so we could do it together, and I also suspect, so He can turn me around that we may see each other’s faces and talk along the way.     

News 

The website is now up and running!.  The only thing I have left to do is to get the guest book up and running! (If you can help with this,

please send me an e-mail.)  I have also added a frequently asked questions page, a matted poetry gallery, and a page for the second book, "In His Eyes".

Enjoy looking around and finding out what's new!

I am also working on republishing the first book, Learning to Fly, as I am almost sold out! 

There will be at least eight new poems, a new illustration, a second introduction,

plus some special little "extras" not the least of which is a new cover. 

I am very excited; I think it will turn out well.  The first round of manuscripts are with my editors.  I'll keep you posted!

Poem

     For the Love of My Life

God, I sense you here beside me

out on the cool night air,

I sense your voice within me

when I lift my heart in prayer.

No matter where I go,

no matter what I do,

Your arms are still around me,

you always see me through.

The light I know in knowing you,

the joy you always give,

is everlasting in my heart

as you show me how to live.

I love you.