August 2007

Say What?

God and I like to play a little game I believe he calls, "Say What?" It goes something like this. He tells me through someone I respect to do something that would be good. I smile, look them in the eye, and say thank you. (I was taught to be polite and kind after all.) Sometimes, for extra points in the game, I even say I'll do it. Then I go off, store the information away in some dark corner in the back of my mind that rarely gets used like tap shoes in a box during the month of summer break, then go on my merry tapping way-- and do something else. This is round one.

Round two usually begins some time later after I have had a chance to recover from round one. God is very understanding in this game, but very stubborn. Sometimes, for variety, it is a different person who talks to me, also greatly respected by yours truly and they will say the SAME thing! I never mentioned the game to them, God cheats. HE will tell them all about it and how it works and how I will eventually break down and do what he says. At this point, it is my turn. I start by shooting him an annoyed look, then store the new file of information along side the old one, somewhere behind my baby trunk underneath the tap shoes usually does quite nicely. At this point, God heaves a deep sigh, shakes his head, and starts planning for round three. He knows me all too well.

Round three of "Say What?" is usually the clincher and follows quickly on the heels of round two. Sometimes it is simply a variation of round two. Yet another person whom I respect will once again, say the same thing as people one and two. Or, God might get creative and actually bring the thing I was supposed to do in the first place right across my path, two inches from my face so I can't ignore it. I think at round three, God smiles at last as I, ever so predictably, throw up my hands and say, "Fine! I'll do such and such! I get the picture, you are coming across loud and clear!" God then looks at me and says, "Thank you," then sits down. He is a gracious winner. I have yet to win.

My most recent game of "Say What?" resulted in an e-mail in my in-box this afternoon, one I had been looking forward to receiving after finally following the direction God had thrice pointed out. I am so glad I did, just do me a favor and don't tell him that, he'll never let me live it down. The funny thing is, two and a half years ago God and I played another very memorable game of "Say What?" That one resulted in a relationship that has been so transformative in my life, one that has helped me become truer to who God knew I always was than I could ever have imagined. It has been an incredible journey I will never forget, an experience I will always carry close to my heart. After all, how could I forget? This person has helped shape me into who I am today, has helped me see God in his wild light, and encouraged me to hold onto hope as he and I came together once again, and again and again and again. I simply cannot describe in words what this has meant to me but I will be forever grateful.

So you would think, after that extraordinary experience, I would have been more eager to follow such good advice from people I loved and respected this time. But for all of my sassy comebacks, for all of my humor, though I am easygoing and sometimes shy, I can still be stubborn as all get out. Even when I know it's good for me. I think God knows I just like to prove my point and someday, I hope he tells me what that point is. For now, he is ever so patient and he is ever so kind, and thankfully, far more stubborn than I. I am glad he keeps playing "Say What?" with me. Because eventually, I listen, and he leads me into places where words fail and beauty, and love reigns. So next time, when you find yourself playing "Say What?" with God, do yourself a favor, save yourself the time, and just do what he says. You will be glad you did. I guarantee it.

Photographs

Lately I have been doing a lot of hiking and corresponding photography.

Here are some of my favorites pictures from Harts Cove.