February 2008

Stepping Through the Wardrobe

I live between two worlds. Most of the time I'm in this one, but there are times when I close my eyes, reach out my hand, and step through the wardrobe into another world only God and I walk in. It's a beautiful place. There are gardens, and rivers, an immense ocean where I walk the shore, a circle of trees, a burnt forest, an auditorium with red velvet seats, and a cool pool underneath a tall water fall. There are places where it's spring, mid-summer, or the thick of winter. In this world I can fly, I can swim and for some reason not get wet. My favorite place is a house with an upstairs room where God and I spent a lot of time several years back. It's the center of the rest of the world for it is where who I am now began. It's where He recreated me. Outside there is a beautiful garden with a stone bench and it is there I often go back to when I need to really talk to God. Or I will find Her in the kitchen making batter and I'll sit on one of the stools at the bar and talk to Her there.

I like to call this world "the deeper real", the deeper reality flowing underneath, around, and within everything else I see. I truly believe there is far more to this world than we ever see or hear. I think there are immense spiritual and mystical elements that are so easy to not be aware of but are there just the same. Sometimes I try and open my mind to it, just to be aware and awake to this beautiful music, to hear the notes God is singing. I feel as if I can only get a small taste of the song though and I often wonder how it it would change me and those around me if we could fully hear the full orchestration. I think lives would be lived quite differently. Still, even the bit I do hear in that world gives me the courage and hope and love I need to live in this one.

This way of relating to God is called mysticism. It's an age old tradition that crosses many faiths, Christianity and Judaism included. Simply defined, it's an experiential relationship with God. There are many different types of mystics, some are more image driven and some are not. Some are vocal and others are simply sensing. In short, there are more types of mystics than there are mystics. Though it has thousands of years of history behind the tradition, not many Western Christians know about it as generally speaking, Christian history before Martin Luther is not usually discussed, particularly the saints and mystics. Personally, I think it is one of the saddest things about how the Western Church has developed, the roots, the deep roots, are forgotten. I learned about mysticism through several history classes I took while at seminary including one that focused directly on mysticism itself and many of my other classes often mentioned them. I felt like something within me was finally named as I was introduced to waves of people who became my spiritual ammas and abbas. Through their writings, they reached across time and touched my life, my heart, and they taught my soul how to sing a mystical song of my own. Among my current favorites are St. John of the Cross, Mechthild of Magdeburg, St. Therese of Lisieux, and Karl Rahner. Right now I am reading Brother Lawrences's "Practicing the Presence" and would also like to read "The Cloud of Unknowing" at some point.

The other night I was at a meeting of Quaker women focusing upon this topic of mysticism. Some of us considered ourselves mystics and some of us did not. And there were several different types among those of us who did. I loved talking about it as I don't often have the opportunity to do so, or don't take the time, it was like water to my thirsty soul. For quite some time, I hadn't been stepping through that wardrobe much and I needed the reminder of this part of myself, this part of who I am and what I love. We talked about the different types, the dangers one can fall into, what mysticism is like, and how one could be deceived in what they hear. I think one of the dangers is when you lose sight of the world we are living in, cut yourself off from community, and become lost in the spirit world, real or imagined. As one of the women pointed out, mental illness and mysticism touch similar areas in the brain and I can see how the line could become quite hazy. I think it's important if you are a mystic to stay grounded in this physical world, in community, to be able to tell the difference between the real you can touch and see with your eyes and the real you see with your heart, and to know that this world God created is beautiful and good and worth living in. Even in general, I think it's important to get out of our heads and thoughts and be particularly present to our bodies. I do this through dancing and hiking but there are many other ways such as gardening, swimming, or running. We all need that balance in our lives whether you consider yourself a mystic or not for we are made of mind, spirit, and body and all three need our attention. And God is in them all.

At the same time, don't be afraid to step through the wardrobe yourself. If mysticism is something that intrigues you, do some research on it, there is a wealth of information out there for the reading. And if it's not, just know that it's there and there are people for whom it's very real. Respecting each others ways of relating to God is one of the best ways we can love each other as God would have us love each other.

May He be real to you in whatever way you see or hear Him or Her.

Sarah Katreen Hoggatt

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