November 2006

I'll Never Get This!

That is what Ophelia (2nd from left) used to say after Stacey, our tap dancing teacher, would show us a new step. Our feet would go left instead of right, or we would hop because that is what we innately remembered to do from another dance when we should have dropped our heels or toes. And then there were the times we would stand there like idiots as it just seemed too hard. It was at those times, and there were many, when shouts of protest and frustration would be spoken out. I will openly admit here, for the fist time ever, I usually wanted to protest right along with her, "I'll never get this!" but instead, I kept trying to figure it out. It was not out of any pure virtue I assure you. I think it was more out of a staunch stubbornness and determination that I wouldn't let it get the best of me and I could figure it out and do it well without admitting I was frustrated too. Inevitably, we would all get it, we would eventually do it right, and when it came time for our recital, Ophelia was right along with the rest of us grinning (while concentrating!) and tapping out the syncopated rhythms.

For sixteen months Ophelia and I danced together along with our "tap family," (all the students of "On Tap"). She made us laugh every class. Whether it was her own loving stubbornness, (I was not alone in that), or her I-don't-care-what-other-people-think-let's-just-have-fun-and-be-a-little-crazy-at-the-same-time kind of attitude, Ophelia always brightened up our times together. After she came back from a trip to Venice, she showed maps of where she had walked along the canals, and pictures of what she had seen, accompanied of course, by stories as only Ophelia could tell them. She was always there to say hello, and later goodbye as she tootled off down the street in her little white VW bug. She amazed us all with her vivacity and love of life.

Then today, our tap teacher called to tell me that Ophelia had died in her sleep very unexpectedly. Having just been in class the Monday before, no one saw the loss of our friend coming. Then again, death rarely makes itself known. At the funeral, which was also this afternoon, I listened to those who loved her speak of what they treasured most about her. As Stacey commented to me later, it is sad how we rarely take the time to get to know each other in life only to find out things we would have liked to know before they've died. For example, Ophelia told Stacey on her last birthday (her next one was next week), that she was sixty years old. Wrong. Stacey found out today that Ophelia was not sixty years old, she was in fact seventy-five, something she rarely discussed. But she didn't look it, and she certainly never acted it. (Even if you could define what a seventy-five year old is supposed to act like.) The woman I came to know today was outrageously funny, clever, she loved her family and friends, and she lived as if every moment counted because it does. Ophelia was kind, and gave of herself to others. What I will remember most is the look of conspiracy on her face as she whispered things to me while Stacey was busy changing music. They always made me giggle. And though I am terribly sad to loose her, though my heart aches for the deep loss her death brings to us all, I think of her, and I cannot but marvel at the honor of knowing such a person full of life. She has been a light to us and I am quite sure, (particularly if I know Stacey), Ophelia will be remembered for a loooong time to come.

So that brings me to a question for myself, and if you so choose, for yourself as well. What would you want to say to a person that has not yet been said? What do you want them to know before they never have the chance to hear it from you again? If you knew this was to be your last day with them, what would you do? There was one woman who said if she had the chance to spend one more day with Ophelia, she would spend it like they had spent all the others. I would love it if I could say that about my own friends and family. I would love to be able to say in answer to my own question, there is nothing left to be said, we have said it all. But such is not the case. There are things I have never said to people because the words are full of vulnerability and leave me open to rejection. It can be difficult for me to tell someone how much they have come to mean to me over time and that I love them. Though I would hope they know, I think there is power in saying it out loud.

What I want to do is rather like a New Year's resolution in reverse. By the end of this year, I want to be able to say I have said to those I love what I needed to voice and that if one of us died, I wouldn't be holding onto love I never gave. I would encourage you to do the same. Life really is too short to wait. Ophelia never knew she was going to die that night. None of us knew she would be going. It is a commonly known part of life, but rarely taken to heart. I would have liked to have told her what I just told you. "You were a light Ophelia. You were a beautiful example of the well-lived life. The pleasure shining out from you was straight from God and you filled our lives with it. Thank you for what you meant to me, to us. We will never forget you. We love you. And yes Ophelia, you will get it. In fact, you tapped this one out of the park as you ran for home." Be at peace.

You're the Top!
Sarah Katreen Hoggatt

News

Both books and most of the matted poetry will be for sale at Silverton Friends Church in Silverton, OR

for their Christmas Bazaar to be held on November 3rd and 4th. If you need directions, send me an e-mail and I will

let you know. This is my third year with them and it has become one of my favorite events. It truly is very well done

and I encourage you all to go to see the beautiful handwork of so many talented artists and crafters.

A Christian bookstore in Gig Harbor, WA, called "Good News Christian Books and Music,"

is now carrying the second book, "In His Eyes" for $14.95. The address is:

Good News Christian Books and Music

5500 Olympic Dr
Gig Harbor WA 98335-1487

(253) 858-9477

Last Updated: 12/30/2011